Today is Thursday, also known as weigh-in day. I’ve had some ups and downs over the past few weeks and decided that I need to get my food and head in order before I start really worrying about the scale.
Actually last week I knew I gained weight and I knew that I couldn’t handle seeing a higher number yet again. So I opted out of weighing in that morning, in my bathroom, and then signed in at my Weight Watchers meeting that afternoon without weighing in as well (btw, Weight Watchers leaders get paid based on how many people show up, so I always make sure to sign-in even if I don’t want to weigh-in… my leader is motivating and I want her to keep coming back!!).
This week, as mentioned in my challenges and solutions post, I’ve been observant of my behavior. The first part of the week was good. I had no sweets in the house and seemed to be doing well. I didn’t track my points but I was happy with how I was eating. Then the quosi-bingeing began which I nipped in the bud after the said post. Two days ago I got back on track and yesterday I actually tracked my points and stayed within my allowance. I was back to really following the program and very happy about it!
Last night I had no intention of weighing in. I always think it’s important to focus on what you’re doing (or not doing) rather than what the scale reflects… because that to an extent is out of your control… and it will catch up eventually with your actions, either way.
And then curiosity got the best of me and this morning, like a zombie, I went into the bathroom and turned that baby on. And I was crushed. CRUSHED. [157.2lbs]
After coffee and breakfast and reflecting through blogging (thank you for being my therapists ) now I’m just trying to figure out whether I stick to my plan of weighing in only once a month and focusing on just following the program or whether these weekly reminders (good or bad) are a necessary part of the progress. Now that I’m over the shock, I think I’m actually more motivated than say, 3 days ago (when I let myself comfort myself with food). There is that unsettling feeling nonetheless. Motivation and defeat are competing for my attention!
How do you feel about the scale? If you were ever in weight-loss mode, how often did you weigh-in? A few years ago I actually weighed myself every day!
Thank you to all of those who voted in my poll this weekend (it’s still open if you’d like to make your input). Last time I checked, most of you voted that posts about weight loss and body image were your favorite (with healthy recipes in second place).
I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised with these results because I get so many comments about how much my honesty and openness is appreciated. With that said, I must admit that I felt a little selfish talking about my weight loss ups and downs and occasional binge eating struggles. I always appreciated your encouraging comments but thought few of you could relate or want to hear about it time after time.
What I realized this weekend is that not only do you care but that’s why most of you keep coming back to Healthy and Sane!! I’m extremely excited about this because I really want to share my weight loss journey here with you. All of it, not just the occasional highlights. How many people can say they have that big of a support system?!! I’m a lucky girl. Thank you!!!
So with that said, I’m going to dive into how it’s going. Unsurprisingly, it’s been a rocky ride even since my last weigh-in update. Seriously, why can’t it ever be easy? I feel like I have enough fire in me. But let me quickly backtrack and tell you my ideal plan. You already know I’m trying to follow the Weight Watchers new PointsPlus program but I do have to make some modifications to make it my own.
- I get 29 PointsPlus per day on the new program. Exercise can earn you additional PointsPlus, and every member gets 49 PointsPlus per week in addition to their daily allowance and exercise bonus points.
- On days that I have no plans of eating out, I’d like to stay within my 29 points. On days that I lift heavy weights, I will also eat back my exercise bonus points. To build muscle you need extra calories. I will happily oblige.
- When I eat out at a nice restaurant or go to a party or a family gathering, I will enjoy my food – any food, whatever I am craving at that time! – and I will not try to count points for that. The experience of truly enjoying a meal at a nice restaurant (the way it was intended to be served, not a dry piece of fish with steamed veggies on the side!) is important for me to retain (same goes to sharing a meal with my family/friends). Because of these meals I would like to not dip into my weekly 49 PointsPlus during the rest of the week. I figured this way these more indulgent meals will sort of fit into the plan.
- I will continue to work towards more mindful eating. For example, if I’m not counting points at a dinner out, that does not mean that I will give myself a carte blanche to order several sugary cocktails, an appetizer, entrée and dessert. My body doesn’t need that and I can definitely enjoy my meal with less. My usual trade-off is wine instead of cocktail or a cocktail but no dessert. Parties are the hardest for me.
So those are “the rules.” Here was the reality this past week.
- I ate a bunch of leftover almond macaroon cookies. They were addictive and made me insanely happy but I still dream of them and want more. That was not good for my waistline (I gained 2lbs last week!!). I will not make more unless a special occasion presents itself and I plan on giving most of them away (will only save a couple for myself).
- I ate out almost every day during my trip to NY. I only exercised once. That was not good for my waistline and it was really hard to go back to counting points when I was back home.
- I purchased almond butter with roasted flaxseeds from Trader Joe’s. I now see what all the fuss was about. It’s addictive. Do I need to spell it out?
- I ate well balanced, delicious meals on Friday. I stayed within my 29 PointsPlus… and then I continued eating. Just because I wanted the taste of some foods. Like the aforementioned Trader Joe’s almond butter. Straight out of the jar.
- I went to a holiday party on Saturday night and ate way too much of the cheesy dip I brought (recipe to be posted on Russian Bites) and way too many homemade peanut butter cups my friend Tiffany made. I knew I was overdoing it but I told myself I’ll just follow the rules to the T the next day and it will be okay. I am not proud of that.
- Despite all the things that did not go according to plan, I still know in my heart that I will be able to do this. I have you (and Adam, who is also trying to lose some weight!) to support me and I want it more than ever. But NOT at all costs. I WILL allow for indulgences which I will enjoy. This blog is called Healthy and Sane for a reason. It’s about finding that balance.
Note: I will continue to also post about all the other topics previously seen on Healthy and Sane. That means there will still be healthy and sane recipes but they will be presented in the context of my weight loss journey (because they are). I will also continue to review products, share most memorable meals out and cover any other topic that I am passionate about. I have to stay true to myself. Thank you again for reading and letting me be me!!
PS – the winner of the Three Sisters Cereal giveaway is #69. Anna, congrats!! Please email me your address to email@example.com.
PPS – If you’ve had enough weight loss talk for today and are looking for a delicious recipe from me, head over to Russian Bites and check out my post on garlicky tvorog with walnuts and herbs. It was a big hit at Saturday’s holiday party!
I’ll be in New York for 5 days so Adam and I decided to go on an impromptu date last night since I won’t see him for nearly a whole week (we haven’t been apart for that long for several years!!). We had dinner at Tremont 647 (it was ok, kind of a miss for me for the money… except for the deep fried brussels sprouts. Oh yes I did ) and then headed to Coda for a few more drinks (it’s one of our favorite spots in the city – we’re determined to become regulars ). It’s so strange how (obviously) I see Adam every day, yet we really don’t get to spend quality time together unless we’re out of the house. There are no distractions. Just the two of us. I like it… brings me back to our dating days.
So the latter part of the week presented no opportunities for new recipe testing but I feel like this week there was a turnaround point for me in terms of my attitude and self care. And I’m seeing results! There is the whole general level of content, which comes from setting clear goals and working towards them. Here are some of the things that kept me motivated this week:
- Running. I hurt my lower back again so I can’t lift. On Tuesday I decided to jump on the treadmill and see what happens (it’s been many months since I ran) and I LOVED it. My endurance is no where near where it used to be but I don’t care. I did some speed work and got my sweat on. I did it again yesterday. I’m craving these runs now. Love that high!
- Christie. I’ve been coaching with her for the past few months and I think I had a break-through on our last call. She said: “Elina, if you want to change… you need to change.” That’s right, I can’t just want to be (or look) different, I need to do something about it!
- Weight Watchers new Points Plus program. I approached the program with the above in mind. It’s helping me become a little more aware of what and how much food I’m putting in my body. I’m tweaking my diet slightly as I go. The biggest change has been more fruit to bulk up my meals, instead of that second helping of something (or a trip to the fridge for an extra snack 20 minutes later). Yesterday, to save 2 points, I had an open faced egg/bacon & cheese sandwich for breakfast and didn’t miss the top at all (it was messier but just as satisfying and held my hunger at bay for just as long). Little tricks like that make a difference and I’m excited to keep learning and tweaking.
- My pants. They’re starting to fit. They’re tight but I can zip them up! Great motivation right there!!!
- Adam’s holiday party at work is next Thursday. This is the first time I’ll be meeting most of his co-workers (it’s a relatively new job still) and I want to feel happy and confident. Taking care of my body goes a long way towards achieving that.
- January 1 goal. I want to be under 150 by January 1. It’s a tiny bit aggressive because I don’t want to take drastic measures. And in all honesty I won’t be disappointed if I don’t reach it… as long as I work towards that goal and my actions reflect it. Visualizing how good it will be to get there, though, is definitely motivating!
With all of that positive momentum, I did not fear the scale as I stepped on it yesterday morning. I was 154lbs, that’s 1.4lbs below last week’s (woohoo!) and 2.6lbs below my start weight. For the first time I’m feeling like I’m actually in a good place mentally and there are nothing but good things to come!
I’m off to pack for my trip to NY. I plan on cooking my heart out so do expect new material next Monday (I’m shooting for blogging here everyday Mon-Fri and twice a week on Russian Bites).
Btw, I’m taking both my Mac and Adam’s PC to NY and will be playing with Live Writer and Lightroom in between all the cooking and baking. Are you a Mac or a PC user? Am I crazy for seriously considering switching? (Live Writer is my main driver).
Last chance to enter the healthy cookbook giveaway and the Stonyfield yogurt giveaway!