Our minds are so incredibly powerful and can be our worst enemy or our best friend. Which way would you prefer to sway it?
I had some serious breakthroughs last week when it came to this subject and of course I’d like to share them with you. After reading It Was Always Meant to Happen That Way (which inspired the enough is enough post), I decided that instead of hoping that this whole diet free living thing would work, I was just going to make it work. Instead of being scared, I became excited. I was going to get there… it was just a matter of time (and ok, a lot of work on my part). I decided that from now on my actions would reflect those of a person that was “there” already.
Sounds awesome except life isn’t that easy now, is it? You can’t just flip a switch and make all the worries and destructive behaviour just disappear. Or can you?
I read the book on Monday and then had a call with Christie on Wednesday. She gave me the perfect push forward. It’s good to have a really awesome support system. Luckily I do! (Even though often times I am still hesitant to reach out. Don’t make the same mistake! I promise you that the positive people in your life want you to be and feel your best and will be happy to help you if they can. They can’t do that though if you don’t reach out. Do it!)
We started the call with me describing the weeks prior when I felt out of control, scared… and binge eating. 😯 It was a self-fulfilling prophecy. I felt disgusted with myself so instead of taking care of myself and acting like the person that was happy living a diet free life, I was digging a deeper hole for myself. Making it worse one bite at a time. I hated myself and everything around me. It was a really dark place to be in and I wanted it all to stop…as I was unwrapping yet another bar of chocolate (at some point tears literally running down my face because I was so upset with “doing this to myself”).
Sounds unpleasant and counterproductive, right? Right. What I didn’t realize at the time is that the thought of “I hate myself” was running through my head over and over like a broken record. Of course I was acting accordingly! So Christie asked me to change that thought and eventually we came up with something that sounded better to me, something that would bring on a different kind of behavior. Instead of “I hate myself,” I am now actively replacing that thought with “I am working on loving myself.” (Side note: “I love myself” felt premature… I don’t believe it quite yet so it wouldn’t work. The key is really finding a thought that feels right and true to you.) She also asked me to find a way to remind myself of this thought. I was planning on buying a new ring this weekend, so I dedicated it to this thought.
Every time I look down at my hand…I am working on loving myself
Every time I “hate myself”…
Nope, I am working on loving myself… and I will get there, it’s just a matter of time!
And with this thought I started asking myself what would someone that loved herself would do.
Scenario 1: I just got home from dinner out. Adam is out. The house is quiet and I’m bored. I turn on the tv and start thinking about what’s in the fridge that I can munch on mindlessly… I remember we have an open bag of pita chips (loooove them!)
What if I loved myself? Forget the chips. I don’t want to feel physically uncomfortable. I just had a great dinner and stopped at a point that was just right.
Scenario 2: It’s 8:30 am on Saturday, my alarm keeps going off so I can get to bootcamp by 9:30. Ugh, I haven’t been to the gym in weeks, this is my time to finally get my butt there… but this bed is so comfy.
What if I loved myself? Eh, no bootcamp. I just want to sleep in for once. Maybe Adam and I can play tennis later this afternoon.
I’ve been doing this all week and honestly it’s really working! I can’t wait to see what’s in store for me next now that I’m working on loving myself (and act accordingly). 😀
What discouraging throughts are running through your head and preventing you from living your happiest life? Can you flip the switch?