Diet free living: don’t get too comfortable!

*Time for another diet free living update since this topic is a lot more relevant for me today than what I actually planned to write about.*

Since my last diet free living post things have eerily been going smoothly. I think I have the weather gods to thank for it because just the knowledge of warmth and sunshine for a while there made my days in the office better. Adam and I have also been sneaking in nights on the patio as often as we can (sometimes with a bottle of wine – why not?). Honestly there was just no room for the food/body obsession in this life. I felt an almost out-of-body experience where I was watching someone else; someone I couldn’t really recognize because things weren’t perfect but she was just so happy and thankful for the things that were good, the other ones didn’t matter. I was happy. I was glowing. I could really get used to this life!

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They say what comes up must come down but I was hoping physics didn’t apply to diet free living. Why should they? I was so happy not dieting! So in love. And that sun was still shining. And then something (an old demon) came up. And the sun was still shining and I still had the most amazing husband in the world, and I was employed. But I broke down. And I got the food shakes. And I let myself have some (I have learned that food can be comforting and sometimes it’s ok to let food “take care of you” for a little while there because no one/nothing else will fill that void quite the same. You have to be ok, really ok with letting food do that for you though, otherwise you’re opening up an old can of guilt inducing warms.) And then I tried to breathe and calm down but I still wasn’t ok and I bounced around between feeling not ok and going through the motions and numbing that feeling with food.

I snacked the night away last night and I’m not okay with it. I knew what I was doing. I chose it. I’m still not ok with it.

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I have a food hangover this morning and I still don’t feel fixed. The same issue, the same sense of helplessness, is still there. I just added a stomachache to the list of thing to worry about.

It’s easy to feel defeated but I’m not letting this black cloud hang over me any longer. I’ve reached out for help (Christie is letting me join her Feelings eCourse last minute – super nice!) and I will work through this stuff. This is nothing I can’t handle and food is not the answer!!

That’s all I have for you today, folks. Just wanted this to be another reminder that there are always ups and downs and we can never get too comfortable. It’s a lifetime of a work in progress and I personally still believe that it is a very worthy journey to take on! Hope you are all doing ok and enjoying your summers!!! Open-mouthed smile

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19 comments to Diet free living: don’t get too comfortable!

  • I’m sorry that happened. I think it’s more important to focus on all the progress you’ve made and how happy you are. Maybe seeking out different coping strategies when you’re feeling that anxiety to eat could help?

    • Elina

      Thanks Melissa! Yes, that’s exactly what my focus will be going forward. I thought I had the right strategies to deal with new (actually old in this case) curve balls but clearly I still have some work to do :)

  • Hi Elina, I love how honest you are in all your posts. The great thing about this is that you recognize that there are always ups and downs. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you are doing a good job of diet-free living! Good luck!

  • You are amazing and you will get through this! It sounds like an obstacle now and then is ok and to be expected. Great job taking charge now to keep it from happening again.

  • delia

    Sorry for the setback. I hope you bounce back soon, but honestly, your post makes me worry. I wonder if referring to your current state as “diet free living” is temptation to keep dieting on the table. Rather, simply living, eating when you’re hungry and not eating when you’re full, might be the better answer for you. Please accept my apologies ahead of time if I came off too negative in my response.

    • Elina

      Hi Delia – no worries, your comment did not come off negative. I will say that this new “diet free life” is really what I’m after and I haven’t really felt the temptation to diet since I made that choice to stop. The fact that “diet” is still in the title is honestly a great reminder for me of where I’ve come from and where I’d like to stay. Eating when I’m hungry and stopping when I’m full is definitely the point. And also avoiding reaching for food in case of discomfort (which is what happened this time around). Thanks for your input – I’m glad you guys keep challenging me… in a supportive way of course :)

  • I was so happy reading the first part of your post, because I know and understand your struggles. I know the slip up is on your mind, but try to put it behind you now so you can move forward. You are such a wonderful, open person. You will get through this. Just keep pressing forward and never give up. Wishing you all the best!

  • Elina, I really enjoy these posts. The ones where you are completely uncensored, honest and vulnerable. You share things that so many people can identify with. Seriously, keep it up, and keep being positive :)

  • I love how honest you are! EVERYONE slips up from time to time throughout their entire life and you can’t let it get you down :) I think you’re doing a fabulous job!

  • Elina,

    Do not be too hard on yourself; try to be gentle with yourself. The world is hard enough without you becoming your own worst enemy. No one is perfect. No one has a perfect no mistakes journey. That’s impossible.

    Falls happen especially when you are embarking on a lifetime of intuitive and diet-free eating. You can do this! You have made so much progress. Remember all of the days when you felt good, satisfied, happy, and food was not the top thought every.single.minute. There is no start or end to the process. You are working on it, even now, even last night. You did not fail. Today, you kept going-that is a success.

    Take care and remember, you are not alone!

    -Girl Eat

    • Elina

      Thanks for the little pep talk! :) I think I need to keep track of the good days too and see how I recreate them more often. Also, today’s was a good day! :D

  • Oh, gosh- I’m sorry that this is making you uncomfortable. I know the feeling of things going really well- too good to be true- then coming back to reality. My reality is that I will likely never be as thin as I’d like to be unless I’m really ‘working’ at it both with food and exercise. Having had an exercise set-back from a recent injury, it’s just made it even tougher with food b/c I don’t have as much wiggle room. As I refuse to ‘diet’ and I’m not counting calories, I’m curvier now and I dislike it. I wish I had an answer- I don’t. Just supporting you from here. <3 Hugs.

    • Elina

      My reality is the same so I’m working on not wanting to be a certain size because the reality of it is that I’ve been thinner and I’ve been more miserable so they are not completely correlated. Also I’m really happy to not be (as) obsessed about food… so being a little heavier is serving me well in that regard.
      I’m glad to hear you still refuse to diet. That means it’s also been an overall positive change in your life. It’s time to work on changing your mind about what being thinner would really accomplish because right now the only thing that thought of wanting to be thinner is doing is making you sad. Hope you recover soon! If you keep being mindful to the best of your ability, your weight will be fine.

  • I hope you are feeling better. Setbacks are natural in all areas of life. Just remember how many steps forward you have made!

  • Holly

    I love this…. “(I have learned that food can be comforting and sometimes it’s ok to let food “take care of you” for a little while there because no one/nothing else will fill that void quite the same. You have to be ok, really ok with letting food do that for you though, otherwise you’re opening up an old can of guilt inducing warms.)” HOW TRUE!

    I just want you to know that I think you’re brave and I admire you a lot. Thanks for sharing everything – the good and the bad.

    When I’m in a food coma, I try to get on track with lots of water, a yoga or spin class and 15 minutes in the steam room. It helps me. Also, a little refresher read with the IE book helps too.

    Enjoy the rest of the week and chin up… you’re awesome. xo

    • Elina

      Thanks, Holly! I agree – a good workout definitely helps me get out of my funk and think a bit more clearly… although it’s usually the last thing I want to do when I’m in “that” mood. The steam room sounds pretty awesome too! I may need to try it sometime :)

  • it’s definitely true… so crazy, i just had a rough couple days. but i’m trying to put it behind me and focus on today. take some time, and remember that you’ve had so many good days lately, that’s so much progress!!!

  • [...] (and often miserable), which should be considered a small success except that I still continue to emotionally eat when shit hits the fan. Which brings me to my main [...]

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