3 steps forward, 1 step back

I had a bit of a breakdown last night. I forgot how much not following through my plans messes me up! I feel like this week I made so much progress. I (for the most part) stayed within my calorie range, diligently followed my training plan (with the necessary adjustments to allow for my twisted ankle to recover) and my confidence started building.  Last night a decision to skip an interval run brought me straight back to square one. I went to a yoga class during lunch as per my training schedule, but after work the couch seemed so inviting that I decided to just go home instead. Well the couch wasn’t available because we still had people working on our kitchen until 7:30, so what was supposed to be a lovely evening by myself (Adam had plans with his buddies), turned into me being “imprisoned” in my own bedroom, and then a mini-binge out of frustration. So it looks like I took 3 baby steps forward Mon-Wed this week and then a giant step back on Thursday. Urgh :evil: I still can’t decide if I want to make up last night’s run today (it was supposed to be a rest day so I would have fresh legs for a long run tomorrow).  Regardless if I do or not, starting next week I’m going to modify the schedule to eliminate post-work runs. I just don’t want to go through the “talk myself into it” exercise every Thursday, you know?

Anyways, before the stupid binge (which included a bunch of pecans, a Mojo mountain mix bar, chocolate covered edamame and chips!! <– I never want those!) my eats were super delicious. Let’s review, shall we?

BREAKFAST

Overnight oats with banana slices, Kashi Golean cereal, walnuts and raisins + coffee

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Looks pretty but it wasn’t that exciting. I think overnight oats are just not for me. I’d rather have yogurt straight up… or hot oats. That’s just me :)

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[398 calories]

The perfect bite!

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MID-MORNING SNACK

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[168 calories]

LUNCH

I was pretty proud of this one! It was so fresh and SO delicious (thanks to the sauce).  Spinach, broccoli, snow peas, shredded carrots, TJ’s organic savory baked tofu + almonds in Jenna’s spicy sesame noodle sauce (I made it ages ago).

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The sauce recipe made like a gallon and the stuff is caloric so I’ve been using only a tablespoon or 2 at a time.  I have been keeping the sauce in a Nalgene bottle and it was as fresh tasting yesterday as it was a year ago. Just opening the sauce bottle in the morning got me super excited about lunch! The sauce aroma is amazing – tahini + sesame oil really are a match made in heaven. :D

Saucy lunch…

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Brownie anyone?

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[all together ~ 515 calories]

MID-AFTERNOON SNACK

PURE cherry cashew bar – love them!

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[200 calories]

DINNER

Another amazing meal – seriously prior to my binge I was eating like a queen!! Apple chicken sausage “dog” with honey mustard, pumpkin butter and fresh pear slices + baby carrots

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The star of the show… the perfect balance between sweet and savory.

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Before reading food blogs (and of course writing one), I would have never thought I’d like something like this. Good thing I’m more adventurous now – it was an incredible combination of flavors!!

The only thing that got documented as I was eating my weight in food…

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KITCHEN REMODEL UPDATE

Our walls and ceiling are closed!! I can actually picture what the kitchen will look like now. It’s so open – I love it! We have less than a week left for it to be done (fingers crossed)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Any fun plans for Valentine’s day? I think we’re going to wake up to the oh so romantic sound of kitchen remodeling. :lol:

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19 comments to 3 steps forward, 1 step back

  • sister inna

    i think your after work runs are like my morning runs. i can plan for it all i want but in the end — i still have to convince myself ( a lot) to go out and do it!
    i say don’t sweat it — we’re gonna have some killer workouts this weekend! can’t wait!
    your “binge” doesn’t sound that bad.. but i guess it’s more of a control thing than the actual food thing (because i KNOW you KNOW it will all balance out by the end of the week).
    i’ve been on a major cereal kick lately. we’re talking 3-4 bowls after dinner type of thing. i’m taking it surprisingly well so far ;)

  • We all have good and bad days. Your “binge” could have been MUCH worse but you stopped it and that’s a good thing. It’s important to take it one day at a time. So you messed-up. It happens to the best of us. Today is a new day.

  • Elina

    Innz – you’re right, it’s a control thing… I know an 8 miler tomorrow will totally take care of it but I don’t want my running to fix my food issues. Oh and I just reviewed my workout schedule over the past few weeks and convinced myself that I shouldn’t run today. I ran for only 10 minutes (!!!) 3 weeks ago, 4.5 miles 2 weeks ago, 8 miles last week and even without yesterday’s run it will be 12 miles this week. That’s a large increase already so it’s probably a good idea to not overdo it so early. I don’t want my excitement (and stupid stringent rules) to cause an injury. Can’t wait for this weekend!! :D

    Erin – I actually did not stop myself. I ate up until I went to bed but it’s true that it could have been a lot worse. I don’t plan on counting calories today/this weekend but I do plan on including more veggies and fruit in my diet and I’m sure my body will thank me for it :)

  • And here I thought I already knew all the crazy things one could do with pumpkin. *WHY* did I never think about putting it on an apple-chicken-sausage dog? You win!

    And on a more serious note, don’t beat yourself up over the workout! It happens to the best of us. I always have the best intentions, but every so often something gets in the way or I realize I could really use some extra rest. The best thing I have learned is that one bad day doesn’t kill the rest – as long as you get back on track the next day!

  • I know how you feel about your “binge”. You definitely could have chosen MUCH worse things to eat but I still know how frustrating it is to give in to food like that! I used to really get down on myself when that would happen to me but it was a one time thing, it’s over, and you’ll get back into your routine with no problem I’m sure. It’s a new day and in the long run it won’t make a difference!!!

  • Rachel

    This is totally anecdotal, so take it for what it’s worth, but have you thought of lowering your carbs some and upping your fat? I find that when I eat a moderate protein/carb/higher fat diet my sweet cravings tend to diminish a fair bit. But if I keep my fat consumption lower and my carb consumption higher, I have a hard time avoiding sweets. Just a thought :)
    PS-Those brownies look DELISH

  • Miriam

    I can totally relate myself to you right now!Yesterday I didn’t go the gym (as planned) because my body was just soooo damn tired from the day before (crazy leg workout) that I could’t figured myself at the gym… Instead I stayed home, on my couch, watching boring TV, while I eat my mom’s not-so-healthy-cookies (she made them hearth shaped for valentine day, how cute) & crackers with hummus (did not eat dinner) and some wine… Today I feel like a huge potato… I am trying to convince myself that it is all in my head but well. Today was suppose to be a day off the gym for me too (see how we’re connected lol), but I will be heading straight to the gym after work (which is truly the last place I want to go today – since I feel like a big potato). All in my head, all in my head, all in my head… lol Really it makes me feel better to read you, I hope this feeling can be shared! :)

  • So, you missed your run yesterday… but you went to yoga at lunch!!! So, you at least got in some fantastic activity – just not a double workout :)
    On the overnight oats, I’m so with you! I thought I was the only one that wasn’t a huge fan. I was bringing them to work because it was really easy to put together, but they are just never the same as hot oats. So, now I either bring one of Tina’s 3-minute oatmeal cookies with nut butter or chobani with granola. Love both yogurt and oats (obviously), just not together!
    Make sure to get in a good workout today and I’m sure you’ll feel better. I called off work with a stomach ache, so no workout for me… for two days straight! Yikes! I haven’t done that since like October.

  • Don’t stress….you do so well like 90% of the time. We can’t be perfect and what’s so wrong a with a couple chips? Nothing is off limits, it just makes us all crazy otherwise. You look great anyway! Enjoy your weekend!

  • Don’t beat yourself up. I’ll echo what everyone says in that it probably wasn’t as bad as you think and you eat so well the rest of the time–it doesn’t matter :)
    Keep smiling…it’s the weekend!

  • Your salad looks so vibrant and bright. Dont beat yourself up, we all have our days where we dont do so hot, but we can just pick ourselves up and get back on the wagon tomorrow. :)

  • I love the honesty you share! We’ve all been there and like others said, at least you did get in a yoga sesh!!! Its not like you did nothing! I can’t do evening runs either, always get them in first before anything else. Cheer up sunshine- tomorrows another day! :)

    ~Christie (http://rollerkoesterrun.wordpress.com/)

  • You’ll get back into it and things will all even out. I’ve been out of the gym with a cold for over a week and as bad as I want to remedy the situation, I’m trying to listen to my body and hold out.

    Sometimes it’s more fun to be in control and I’m sure that was the root of your frustration.

    Hang in there!

  • I can’t add anything knew to what everyone else has said, except to say that conquering binging is not a linear progress. You’ll do well, then slip up. But going longer between slip ups is a great measure of progress. That’s how I’ve looked at it for myself anyway. Have a happy Saturday :)

  • You know i have gotten off having a schedule and eating the same foods day in day out…and I am not feeling so great. I need to get back to the expected because it mentally makes me feel on track.

  • I totally know what you mean about never thinking you would like certain foods — but after reading healthy food blogs, you are totally into it! I’m eating so many things I never thought I would like!

  • Anonymous

    I used to read your blog and really admire your positive healthy attitude about food. I have to say I am very disappointed that you have started calculating calories, especially to such an obsessive degree. It is a stupid and unhealthy behavior that can lead to more disordered eating, food obsession, and overall misery.

  • Elina

    Thank you all for your wonderfully supportive comments!! As always, you guys are the best!!!

    Cara – haha, it really is a great combo!

    Rachel – The binge was purely emotional eating. It was NOT out of hunger so upping my fat wouldn’t make a difference. Thanks for the suggestion, though. It’s always interesting to hear what works for different people.

    Miriam – I think a few of us here need to remember to forgive ourselves. I actually forced myself to take Friday as my (previously planned) rest day because I really needed fresh legs for the Saturday run. My head knew it was the right thing to do but emotionally I still wanted to make up the “missed run.” I’m glad I went with the rest day. I enjoyed a lunch break on Friday (played with my camera) and had a kickass run on Saturday :D

    Carly – I’m glad I’m not the only one too!! :lol:

    One Healthy Apple – hope you are feeling better! It’s definitely super important to rest as you’re recovering. Glad you’re giving your body the rest it needs!

    Shannon – I can’t even remember the last time I binged and this one was definitely not as bad as my previous ones. You’re right, I’m making major progress already! Thanks for that reminder. :grin:

    Whitney – I owe my love for cooking to blogs and continue to be inspired by them every day. :mrgreen:

    Anonymous – I’m sorry you feel this way. All I can say is that you are completely wrong in your assessment. I am not obsessive; I’m trying to do what works for me. I’ve been happier since restarting calorie counting, and there are still plenty of indulgences in my life. That’s how I define balance.

  • I can so relate, Elina! Any changes to my plans make me much more likely to binge, as does being left alone (when not planned ahead of time!). At least it was just a mini one, and at least you got right back on track afterward. I feel like I’ve had three days of over-indulgence and I am scared about the challenge of getting back on the wagon this week :/

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