I’m not proud of it

Sorry in advance for a whiny post.  I’m not proud of my eating yesterday.  Work got busy (which made me skip my workout) and there was free chocolate that I couldn’t resist – these two things combined triggered some unhealthy behavior.  There was a lot of self-pep talk but it didn’t work entirely.  I could have done worse but I definitely could have done A LOT better.  No one said this was going to be easy, I guess.  I did manage to have a delicious and healthy lunch which was definitely the …

BEST MEAL OF THE DAY…

hummus/sweet potato wrap + grapes, strawberries and 1/2 banana

We didn’t go grocery shopping over the weekend so I had to get creative.  This combo was delicious and definitely hit the spot.  Too bad this lovely lunch was overshadowed by eating crap for the rest of the day :(

Sabra hummus + sweet potato wrap closeup

Hummus + sweet potatoes are great together!

OTHER EATS

Peanut butter + chocolate chip scone

Hershey's milk chocolates

Multiply the above picture by 3.  Yep, THREE.  Bleh.

I also ate 2 large chocolate chip cookies (unphotographed).

Then I considered skipping dinner because honestly I wasn’t even hungry, but I thought this was not a good move.  I didn’t want my body to feel like I was punishing it and feel deprived.  So instead of cooking (which I didn’t feel like doing at all), I went to UFood.

UFood chipotle chicken sandwich

UFood chipotle chicken sandwich - cross section

Paris cookies

Actually I had 2 of these too… it was definitely one of those days.

2 cookies from Paris (chocolate chip)

Calories for the day: definitely over 2,500… I stopped counting after a while.

Confession – After I got off work I could have gone to the gym.  I knew it would definitely, without a doubt, make me feel better and get me right back on track, but it’s like I didn’t want to feel better.  This was also the moment when I was about to hit up another bakery and get something else, but I didn’t do that either.  I knew that that would be really bad.  Even when I fall off the wagon like that, I know what I should be doing.  I just don’t really listen to myself.  Does anyone else ever experience this?  I swear I feel like I’m the craziest person sometime.  I really love being healthy – why do I do this to myself then?

Ok, I’m done.  Sorry.  I promise to be back to being much happier.  In fact, I’m enjoying a cup of coffee in my house right now instead of rushing to work.  I need to start the day on the right foot.  No more self destructive behavior!!  I can do this! 😀

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22 comments to I’m not proud of it

  • Letting it out helps, so I’m so proud of you for doing that. Overall though, you did pick wonderful healthy choices into the mix, so I think you did great!

  • sister inna

    i don’t think what you had was that bad… just a bunch of chocolate right?
    you just boosted your antioxidant intake that’s all 😛
    both lunch and dinner look super yummy — and on that note i’m off to enjoy my ‘lunch’ wrap

  • Elina

    Hehe, Inna – yeah, A LOT of antioxidants were consumed along with plenty of saturated fat. I like your positive thinking though! I’m keeping you around 😉

  • we all have days like that. i should do a food post on one of my “bad” days- its hilarious. I made cookies over the weekend for the boy and had about 8. then we went out for pizza. then i had some beer. and more cookies. It took me a while to not care about days like that. Now I can laugh about them like “what was I thinking?” but a few years ago i would have had a heart attack. but you know what i figured out? i can eat like that a freak out about it, or i can eat like that and forget about it. I eat the same calories either way- but one makes me feel bad and one doesnt. id rather just not feel bad. one day doesnt really make a difference.

    Kelly Turner
    http://www.everygymsnightmare.com

  • Amy

    I feel like this post was written by me! Sometimes I start to get off track by midday and then just keep going. I tell myself “Amy, just eat healthy. Put down the chocolate and drink some water until you can get something healthy to eat.” But then I eat the chocolate anyway and it’s all downhill from there. In a weird way, it’s good to know someone else goes through this sometimes. On some of the other blogs I get frustrated thinking that I’m the only one who has days when the chocolate I eat outweighs the fruits & veggies. So thank you for confessing. :) Don’t feel bad about it either. Your number of good eating days far outweigh this one day.

  • Amy

    Kelly, I love that perspective! I’m slowly getting toward that attitude as well. It’s like, why punish myself over something that will eventually seem so insignificant?

  • Sorry you feel so crappy Elina :( But like everyone said, it’s only one day! Look how good you’ve been doing, how healthy you’ve been eating, for so many days now! That definitely outweighs one “bad day” (which wasn’t even that bad!).
    ps- i love that chipotle chicken sandwich from UFood- delicious!

  • I def. have had days like that where even though I know something like a workout would make me feel better, but I’d rather just go home and curl up in bed. It happens, and it’s no biggie! (as long as it doesn’t ALWAYS happen. 😉 ) And at least you didn’t stop at a bakery either! See, you did make good decisions!!! :-) Hope you’re having a better day!

  • Mandy A

    elina –

    I have been reading your blog for awhile now… but this is my first time posting! I have to say I love your blog – I feel like I relate to you in a lot of ways! Which is always crazy to say and probably crazy to hear :) But our eating “style” is very similar!

    But I had to say thank you for your post today! I know it’s easy to say, don’t let it get to you…but we all have days like this, unfortunately! You do an amazing job everyday at taking care of yourself… you really have so much to be proud of! You definitely inspire me!

    Sharing post like this make the rest of us feel a little more human, too :) I’m sure it felt good to get it off your chest!

    I hope you have a great day! :)

  • Elina

    Thank you all so much! You guys are awesome!!! Thanks for understanding…

  • K

    Don’t worry, today is a new day! Everyone has days like your Monday but what’s important is that you recognized that you could do better and reflected on it. Your best meal of the day sure does look tasty!!

    Have a great Tuesday :)

  • Elina

    Mandy, it’s amazingly flattering to hear that even despite my fall downs, I’m still an inspiration! That’s why I write this blog, so thank you for saying that!!!

  • Oh Elina, I have so had days like this. The only difference is, those are the days when I wimp out and “take the day off” of blogging. So lame. I am proud of you for posting and being honest with yourself, and proud in advance because I already know that this won’t drag out to a long-term deal. That’s the most important part; that when you are next able, you get back on the healthy horse. I always say to myself, “there is no damage you can do in one day that can’t be un-done in two.” (For the record, I agree with Inna, this day wasn’t even THAT bad, but I understand feeling this crappy.)

    Ok, hope that was helpful and not totally patronizing. I’m not articulating my thoughts very well today so I hope you know what I am trying to say!

  • Tiffany

    Elina, don’t get stressed out. These sort of days happen despite our best attempts, and we can only accept that and strive to do better next time. I’m dying for chocolate in massive quantities right now, despite stuffing myself with a pretty big salad and rice for lunch. I have a meeting at 5 and I know my boss will have ordered pizza-I know I’m going to be in the same position you were yesterday, and even though I don’t want to, I know I’m going to eat it, either because of availibility or stress.

    Don’t beat yourself up-roll with the punches and get back up on your feet.

  • Thank you for sharing!! I had one of those exact same days on Saturday and felt like I was the only one who gives in to the food temptations…it’s good to know there are others out there with similar “bad days.” However, just pick yourself up and know that tomorrow will be a new day with healthier eating. You have a great blog and I can relate in so many ways…thanks for being so honest and upfront!

  • Liz

    I agree that that wasn’t that bad. I know it’s scary to feel so out of control, but you are going to get past it. And you can only learn from this experience. You learned what your triggers are, and you learned what you need to work on (i.e. finding a way to hold yourself accountable for working out even when you don’t feel like it). And I HIGHLY commend you for not going to a bakery and getting more food.

    I struggle with binging, and I have really been having trouble with it lately. But I make you look like a light eater. I will eat about 3500 calories or more in a 1 hour span, on top of what I’ve eaten during the day. I am about 15 lbs. from by goal weight (I’ve lost about 65 so far), and yet I have binged 4-5 times in a week. Talk about feeling out of control. So I completely empathize.

    But just know, it could have been much worse, you learned something from this, and you made some positive strides in not getting that extra baked good. Congratulations for that!

  • I know I already commented here, but I wanted to stop by again because you reminded me of my most recent favorite quote! I posted it on my blog Sunday night and I truly love this, and it kind of applies here :-)

    “Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some absurdities have crept inl forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with…high a spirit.”

  • Hey there. Your post sounds SO familiar to the mindset that I go through when I have a terrible eating day too. I honestly believe that I give up as soon as I screw up. THe first treat is always innocent, but when you grant yourself permission to eat another, and another, you finally just give up counting/caring thinking you’ll be fine. It’s almost robotic, the way I think of it, when I slip. It’s too easy to just keep going and “cheating” yourself. Nevertheless, I really don’t think 1 day of “bad” eating breaks the deal. I try extra hard the next day to stay on track – no cheating, going to the gym. When your body relearns how good it feels to be fit (cuz it’s SO easy to forget when there’s good food around) you’ll be right back on track. DON’T beat yourself over it because it’s NOT WORTH IT!!! Believe that you can do this!!! There are people going through the same thing you’re going through all the time so you are definitely not alone!!! Great ranting post. Love it!

  • Elina

    Again, thank you all SO MUCH. Seriously, part of the reason I didn’t take it to the extremes that I’ve had in the past, is that I heard all of you voices in my head and I so badly wanted to report my struggles and how I conquered them. Unfortunately I still gave in, but it’s ok, I’m human and sounds like I’m definitely not the only one!

    Liz, congrats on the 65 lb loss! I know you can kick the bingeing habit too, just listen to your own advise :) And maybe next time you get the urge, re-read it right here! I know I will do the same 😀

  • i totally had the same kind of day yesterday…stopped counting after a while and had little self talks that didn’t work…

    today is a new day though. we can only go forward. i’m right there with ya babE!

  • I have yet to hit up UFood… there’s one right in Kenmore that I need to try.

    • Elina

      Lauren, that’s the one I go to. You should give it a try – it’s great when you don’t feel like cooking and want a healthier fast food alternative. :)

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